I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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