He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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