I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize