Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Non-Jews are for practice
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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