Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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