So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
so much tequila, so little girl.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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