I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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