Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize