He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize