Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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