I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Randomize