No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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