adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
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My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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