at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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