This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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