I feel like abortions should bother me more
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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