walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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