Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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