Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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