I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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