Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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