Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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