i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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