I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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