You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize