I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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