He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize