Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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