I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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