D3 body, D1 cock
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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