Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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