Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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