I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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