you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize