Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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