Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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