Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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