Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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