normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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