Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize