It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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