she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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