Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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