I feel great
I just peed on a car
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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