You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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