And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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