hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize