I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize