Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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