which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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