i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
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Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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