My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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